Building a Strong Bond
Motherhood is one of those life experiences that is scary, wonderful, stressful, and fulfilling. Some might question how it can be all of that in one and for every Mother her response will be different. I know having my daughter at the age of 21, not being married or in a stable relationship, was the scary part. I have always known I have the ability to do great things in life; however, I never really dove into that potential. That was, until I had my daughter. Once I knew I was pregnant my whole world shifted and I was determined to line everything up the way it should have been. Even still, it was not everything I had hoped it would have been but it was the best I could do with what I had and the circumstances I was in at the time. Fortunately, during our first year I was able to work graveyard and spend my days with her having picnics in the park, swimming, and sleeping.
As my daughter grew older I knew I wanted to be a positive role model for her so I decided it was time to go back to school. I started community college and realized the journey would be very long with a full time job and a young child; so I researched other avenues to obtain a degree. I ended up finding Axia College, a community college through the University of Phoenix Online. I completed my Associates in Psychology in 2009. While the degree was a personal accomplishment, the doors of opportunity did not suddenly appear. I decided to continue my education and pursue a Bachelors degree. Life has so many obstacles and I was not able to complete my Bachelors degree on the first try. I had a son and again found myself in that scary situation with some added stress because I was now a single mother of two children. But, I knew that I was suppose to be doing something greater than what I was doing, so I figured out a way to get back into school. In 2012 I graduated with my Bachelor’s in Psychology from the University of Phoenix. It was not an easy journey and I will be the first to admit to any person that balancing a full time job, two kids, school, and a household is work. It is emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting. There were times I felt guilty for using Saturdays to study and work on assignments instead of taking the kids to the park or to the pool. Other times, I was up all night with sick kids and my homework was on the back burner. I stressed about passing my classes. I stressed about being the best mom I could be.
While there weren’t handfuls of careers opportunities flying my way when I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree, I was able to secure a position doing something I love, working with people to increase their potential and help them build their self-esteem before they venture off into the “real world”. With this job I have had the opportunity to network with various community organizations. The best part of my job is the flexibility and work-life balance. When my kids have school picnics, awards assemblies, or are sick I am not ridiculed or reprimanded for taking care of what matters most to me: my kids. My kids have participated in work events and spent the day with me at work. It is a great experience to have them see their mother doing something for others and share in that experience.
Through everything I do, I want my kids to know that they matter most. Motherhood is scary, but those days when my kids run to me, hug me, and say “Mom, I love you”, “Mom, I missed you”, “how was your day”- there is nothing more wonderful in the world. Having a positive attitude throughout my journey and knowing deep down I was destined for something greater than the path I was leading was what got me through. Regardless of your story on how you got pregnant, where you are in life now, or what you do in your job, it is important to remember:
- “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” (Psalm 127:3)
- You have the power to decide what type of bond you want to have with your child(ren). You can choose to let the fear and stress overpower the wonderful fulfillment or you can choose to be fulfilled and seek out ways to build the bond through the stresses.
- Children grow so fast. Take the time when they are young to build the foundation of love, trust, compassion, and affection because they will venture off into the world, where you once were, and they can get lost if they don’t have an anchor, their mother.